Jupiter Ascending: Descending quickly into disappointment

by sophievllewellyn

From the creators of The Matrix trilogy, the Wachowkis deliver another visually pleasing, action packed watch, but failing to deliver any sort of substantial plot line which left me constantly saying “Wait, what?”

The Wachowkis are extremely ambitious film makers, which is an attribute that has led them to their highs and lows throughout their career. However at the top of their game they have given us some outstanding masterpieces such as the first Matrix and the underrated Cloud Atlas, so it was at no surprise that their next installment would be highly anticipated. So it’s at great sadness that Jupiter Ascending failed at being anything close to a masterpiece.

The film goes a little something like this (courtesy of Warner Bros)

From the streets of Chicago to the far-flung galaxies whirling through space, “Jupiter Ascending” tells the story of Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), who was born under a night sky, with signs predicting she was destined for great things. Now grown, Jupiter dreams of the stars but wakes up to the cold reality of a job cleaning other people’s houses and an endless run of bad breaks. Only when Caine (Channing Tatum), a genetically engineered ex-military hunter, arrives on Earth to track her down does Jupiter begin to glimpse the fate that has been waiting for her all along-her genetic signature marks her as next in line for an extraordinary inheritance that could alter the balance of the cosmos.

The plot seems to be the biggest bug bearer with me. Don’t get me wrong, visually it has Waschowki all over it, almost like an art piece. But it seems that this time they have neglected the plot. It starts out promising with a good enough premise focusing on a young woman discovering that there is more to life than she thought, but as the film goes on the narrative only goes on to be more muddled. At the end of the first hour I actually said to myself “I don’t have a clue what is going on, and I don’t really care that much”. The temptation to turn it off (which is a big deal for me, I never bail half way through a film) was at its peak, after a tea refreshment I continue to dull my brain and sacrifice more brain cells.

With an unfollowable plot at its core, the characters are left one dimensional with a plot they didn’t seem to understand. When watching the film we should be deeply involved with Jupiters journey, cheering her along the way as she fights the baddies and wins her right to inherit earth, but instead she’s left under developed and lost in the hyperbolic and length action sequences constantly being rescued by Channing Tatums half wolf half albino Caine on his really annoying anti gravity roller skates (they are really annoying!!!!). Credit to Mila Kunis on her take on Jupiter Jones, and it really does show that she is a half decent actress.

With over exaggerated style and absolutely no substance. It really boils down to a film with no personality and just kind of annoying. The only character you sort of believe is Kunis with her starting naivety to developing strong willingness which is massively ironic as Tatum was chosen for his charisma (which there is non of in this). Eddie Redmayne goes from his outstanding oscar winning Theory of Everything, to Theory of nothing playing Balem, (Jupiters alien brother who wants Earth for himself) who is deeply aggravating with his breathy voice and mummy boy screams.

With an all star ensemble, ridiculously confusing plot and strong visuals, I spent the majority of the film bored, annoyed at the Wachowkis and just thinking, this is just terrible.

However there is one positive element to this film…. SEAN BEAN LIVES TO SEE THE END OF A FILM!